Tag Archives: funny

The Nutcracker Suite

a.k.a. “Crystal Balls”

How many things in life can you TRULY say are both painful and hilarious? Yes.. That’s right. Today we are focusing on the TV show of the future“Ow My Balls”! It was just a small part of genius Mike Judge and his Nostradamus-like predictions in the movie IDIOCRACY!

“OW MY BALLS”

If you haven’t seen Idiocracy... STOP reading this and stream it right now! *SPOLIER* Basically, visionary Mike Judge predicted what 2505 would be like. And he NAILED IT! But Mike Judge is very humble. In this interview with Time Magazine, he says “I’m no prophet. I was off by 490 years.”

Like a kick to the testicles which is both hilarious and painful, Idiocracy is both painful and hilarious. If you have NOT seen it, you MUST watch it TODAY.

Still from the Mike Judge Movie “IDIOCRACY”

Now… on to the punting of the privates, the booting of the boys and the smacking of the scrotal region.

Today’s post all started with U.K. cricket star Liam Livingstone and his newsworthy crotch crunch

It happened MULTIPLE times….

This sent me down a rabbit hole of wanton bollocks beat-downs. I laughed. I cried.

Enjoy…

WILL’s News INVESTIGATES: Alarming New Trend – Are YOUR KIDS Involved?

There is an ALARMING new trend, and we are proud to say: WILL’s NEWS is FIRST ON THE SCENE with the ALARMING story.

THE SCOOP

It all started innocently enough. An ordinary man was minding his own business in the ceiling of his ex-girlfriend’s apartment… when ALARMINGLY

HE FELL THROUGH THE CEILING!

It may SOUND like a crazy conspiracy theory, but in realityIt is an alarming trend among today’s youth!

THE PROOF

MARCH 30thSALINA KANSAS

Man falls through ceiling in ex-girlfriend’s home

Apr 20, 2018 – PHOENIX, AZ.

Carjacking suspect hiding in attic falls through ceiling

May 2, 2018 – LUBBOCK, TX

Man falls through ceiling in liquor store burglary

May 7, 2018: MICHIGAN

Raccoon family falls through ceiling of Michigan home [INCLUDES VIDEO]

JUNE 15th WASHINGTON STATE

suspect’s attempt to hide from deputies thwarted when he fell through ceiling

Jul 26, 2018 – CHANDLER, AZ

Thief falls through ceiling at Dunkin Donuts store

Jun 29, 2018 SPRUCE GROVE, Alberta

Woman falls through ceiling trying to run from police [INCLUDES BEST VIDEO EVER]

JULY 13thDover, New Hampshire

Man Falls Through Supermarket Ceiling Twice

Aug 9, 2018- NEW HAMPSHIRE

rodent fell through ceiling at Town Hall in Newton, N.H. amid screams [INCLUDES VIDEO]

Aug 27, 2018 – ORLANDO

intruder at an apartment IS opossum THAT barricaded itself behind a nightstand

SEPTEMBER 7th 2018 – GARDEN GROVE CALIFORNIA

Woman falls through ceiling at restaurant while in a crawl space looking for a bus stop [INCLUDES VIDEO]

SEPTEMBER 13th  OHIO

Mansfield murder suspect falls through ceiling and was arrested by police during a search at his apartment

OCT 14, 2018 NANNING CITY, CHINA

PYTHON FALLS THROUGH CEILING AT CHINESE BANK MEETING

OCT 23, 2018 ALBUQUERQUE, N.M

brazen burglar FALLS THROUGH CEILING AT high-security pawn shop 

OCT 31, 2018 in the UK

A patient was hit by human poo after it fell through the ceiling at Hospital

Nov 1, 2018 TENNESSEE

26-year-old woman — nude from the waist down —fell through the ceiling and into the kitchen.

AND TODAY in ALABAMA:

Man without pants falls through Alabama Waffle House ceiling [INCLUDES VIDEO]

HOW TO TELL IF YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ‘IN THE CEILING’

  • When you say the word ceiling they avert their eyes.
  • Hair or clothing covered in plaster.
  • Unexplained noises from the attic.
  • New friends who are all covered in plaster.
  • Broken ankles.
  • Visiting ceiling-oriented websites and message boards.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN “IN THE CEILING”

  • Confront them immediately by saying “Have you been in the ceiling?”
  • Tell them they are no longer allowed in the ceiling.
  • Explain to them the dangers of falling out of the ceiling.
  • In case they relapse, buy THICK carpet and stack empty cardboard boxes throughout your home.

 

abraham-lincoln-lincoln-memorial-washington-dc-lincoln

 

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow …by crawling up into the ceiling”.     -Abraham Lincoln

 

 

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